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Explore tons of XXX movies with gay sex scenes in on xHamster!. Already contributed? Log in to hide these messages. I'll admit it: I'm a butt guy. I can look at gorgeous rear ends all day, and anyone who wants to send me a photo of their perky bottom has my blessing. But a butt hole? Am I missing something? It doesn't have an adorable look or a cute personality like a penis or a bunny rabbit does.

It's just there, resembling a drain or a black hole or something else I don't want to get lost inside.

Yet gay men send them out, in close-up and sometimes stretched out so I can get a better peek. Don't even get me started on the names people give them, because that only reminds me of why I'm gay in the first place. Um, then what exactly are you doing on these sites? Checking out the inspirational quotations? Seeking selfie photo tips? Or, my favorite, networking? Because we all know the headhunters are searching Grindr for new talent.

It's almost as baffling as the dudes who post a headless torso and write, "Will not respond unless you send a face pic. The most puzzling are the men who add things like "Have boyfriend, so don't ask me what I'm into. This way you won't need to send out nasty responses to all those horny bastards who assumed you might want to meet up, since you're probably half-naked in your shot and listing your sexual proclivities.

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Gay men are so presumptuous. I get it: These days we're all about trimming our beards, our bods, our backs, our balls. But if your eyebrows make Julianna Margulies' caterpillar brows look natural, you've gone too far. And even the Good Wife's brows have an arch. I'm seeing eyebrows that stick straight out and are clumped together, like someone covered them with plaster of paris and a Sharpie.

They don't look so much like caterpillars as they do scary black leaches clinging on to guys' foreheads. Unlike in those coloring books we had as children, men should feel free to draw a little bit outside the lines. You get a notice that says, "Someone likes you," and you are thrilled when you see how great he looks in shorts and sunglasses.

But wait, that's not him. That's his "buddy from Fire Island last summer. Even more perplexing is when the guy posts a group guy photo and gives no clue as to which one he is. Generally, the main profile photo doesn't help either, as it's usually a city skyline or a puppy, and it's usually upside down. Entertainment sites aren't helping, but how is it possible that every new female singer who's ever auto-tuned a hit single gets this label?

The term "diva" is overused too; it used to mean a female in the opera, and now it means any female who's never been to one.